Posted 9:19 AM by Cath

Clothes, Clothes Everywhere and Not an Outfit to Wear...

I haven't got a thing to wear, darling!

No, honestly, I haven't.

The summer is coming and it's time to bring out the lovely summery clothes - only I don't have any. I could turn this into another rant about weight gain, but to be honest, I don't think that's the problem. I genuinely believe that if I was my normal size, I'd still be struggling to find anything to wear. There's nothing nice in the shops! Under normal circumstances I would just poo-poo the latest trends and wear last year's clothes, but that avenue of escape is currently denied me - so what to do?

Everything is either a funny colour (acid yellow anyone?), a funny shape (uber-skimpy, designed for people without hips or twenty feet tall) or made of weird fabric/design (crinkle fabric looks good on no one, see-through strappy tops (calls out for support but nowhere to hide that support), horrendous and unflattering ruffles and weird applique disasters...)).

My original plan was simple. In order to distract from my now-alarmingly ample bosom (I have no idea what to do with a chest - I've never had one before!) and child-bearing hips, I thought some fairly plain, flatteringly cut shirts would be the answer. Nothing too officey, just something I could wear with jeans in order to finally retire the jumpers that are getting so tight around the arms I fear for my circulation. Summery and cool, but skimming the right bits.

Some hope!

I get tired quickly (as you know) so I can't spend hours trawling the shops looking at everything and trying it all on. So shopping for clothes means lots of little trips to single shops (with a pause for a sit down at strategic points) - not the most convenient way to approach the problem but the only one I have... I have made lots of those little trips recently - to no avail. It seems that this season, shirts are out. As are v-neck t-shirts without cap sleeves. Or 3/4 length trousers.

Bah!

Later today, I am making an expedition to John Lewis since I have been let down so far by Principles, Next, Wallis and Marks and Spencer. I don't hold out too much hope, but an outfit for going out is now required. Something will have to be found. And is it too much to ask for it to be gorgeous so that I feel great in it, rather than a dubious compromise that makes me feel frumpy etc.? It's not my fault I'm pear-shaped and high-waisted - I'd bet my bottom dollar I'm not the only woman in the world with this combination - so where are they hiding the gorgeous clothes for us? Come on, own up! Answers on a postcard to... :o)

(I'll let you know how I get on)

P.S. For those of you wondering what the going out occasion is, Mr. S and I got engaged 2 years ago today and we felt the need to celebrate. I think it should also be a reward for Mr. S for the six month stint of doing all the cooking, washing up, housework, shopping and putting up with my wacky moods. The man deserves a sainthood! But the best we can manage at the moment is a nice steak and some extravagant chocolate dessert - hopefully that'll do while I work on the Pope... (Thank you hon!!!!)

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