Posted 12:13 PM by Cath

Help Me I'm Trapped in a Fat Suit

This being ill has had some very unpleasant (non-medical) side effects.

First of all, it required some mercy shopping. Merciful for the bits of me that were spilling over or getting constricted, not for my vanity... I had to take myself shopping for new, bigger jeans and new, bigger underwear. It hit me as I sat in the changing rooms of Marks and Spencer, waiting for my new, bigger underwear to arrive, that I looked like a Cath in a fat suit. It was like a blow to the jaw.

We don't have a full length mirror in Big Haggis Towers. We left ours behind at the old flat and never got round to buying a new one. I knew that I had put on weight in the last year or so, the scale never lies, but in my head it was okay, I was working on it and I knew it was all going to be fine.

And then I got ill, right after Christmas - the worst possible time. Everyone puts on a little weight after the festive period - that's what New Year's Resolutions are for. And gym memberships. And diets. :o) But I didn't get to lose it - my glands had other ideas. Under other circumstances, the 6lbs I've put on since then would be nothing, a mere blip - but on top of the Christmas pudding that never moved, it's a bit more than a blip.

So... There I am, sitting on a stool in M&S, seeing myself full length for the first time in a long while waiting for new, bigger underwear and it hit me. I am genuinely fat now. I'm not hovering around the healthy BMI range anymore, I'm peering at it through binoculars. I am trapped in a fat suit that must have arrived with one of my prescriptions...and it was a bit of a shock. As much of a shock as having to sit down in the first place - I get tired and need a seat these days, like an old lady (the old ladies that give me evils for taking a seat in the bus shelter too).

I am being pragmatic about it. There's not much scope for dealing with it right now. Jogging off to the gym is pretty much out for a girl who gets dizzy going to the bathroom and back. I reserve the right to comfort eat chocolate digestives when my social life mostly consists of my box sets of 'Sex and The City' and online computer games.

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